I love these! My favorites!

I was scanning through my pics and realized that there are alot of them i should love. And I realized that there are a million things I should be thankful for.. ( i actually got this idea from my cousins blog, and its fun. =))

Our last block retreat in Tagaytay. This was when yanni, mia and cris danced wildly while we all sleep because they were too drunk of too much vodka. Freakin memorable.







December 21, 2008. The day na nagbreak kami ni ex. Napansin yata ni Anthony na gloomy ako, kaya nung nagrequest ako ng "knocks me off my feet" e kahit pagod na shang kumanta forever ay pinagbigyan pa din ako. Thats the only moment this day, I smiled na hindi fake. =)




doris' bday. first time I bonded with my blockmates. masaya. promise. hehe. and the first i conquered my fear towards Atty. Diloy. haha. =)






Kaye's car...
Dorothy: Kaye, my earrings fell..
Kaye: E di hanapin mo, kapain mo lng jan. anjan lang yan sa ilalim.
Dorothy: (kapa) aun. Ay, bigas pala.


whahhahah! getting drunk with the katurays during dor's grad!



Karen: Sinong katext mo?
John: Si jandy, bakit selos ka?
Karen: Akin na pahinging number para matext na katabi mo ko ngayon.

bwaahahha!
Reunion nung umuwi si ate jeb from dubai! of course i missed her!


NO need for further explanation. Its just that I caught mom goofin around and dancing. she never dance. and she has a pretty stiff dancing technique.










Just because this is my first valentines (in 7 years) that I am single, and I had theo and reena to be with me in one of my down times. I love you both sooo much! =D





Everyone was suppose to be sad on this picture, but well, i as pasaway, e prumoject pa din. well, well. =) kelangan talaga magpacute ako. =)






Dr. Love (Ryan Ko) was super hyper that night, and he made my day by dancing outrageously with his gf, joplex. ( sayang walang pic yun)






I love this because this is stolen, but its still a nice pic. hahaa. =D









This was taken Dec 18, 2008 when I choose to go to the Katuray Xmas party instead of having dinner with my ex, kasi anniversary namen. Why memorable? I am glad I choose this. =)







Its the darkest.. ever I've been. Errrr...









Bukod sa this event was the reason why I failed civpro, its also the fattest i've been. buti nlng pumayat na ko. hahaha. =))










Sonia! my favorite inaanak! =)









do i need to explain this?? this is freakin hilarious! hahahah!

macky!

hahah!







*awwww* the couple i am praying to be together forever.

i love you, kuya pao and ate selle! =)






rieley! kiss! just because she is really my favorite. how i miss her!









this is when I got really drunk na halos gapangin ko na papuntang kwarto. hahaa. =D








and this is seriously funny! no need for explanations!


waaahhaahh!

puerto 2007





of course i love this.

this is super funny!

gayest ever! =))

iweb office, tycoon center, ortigas.




malamang gusto ko tong pic na to! uber funny! hahahha! =D











another night I got uber drunk.

yes.. tagaytay.

tagaytay 2006



because we were trying to mend things amongst ourselves.

away-away kuno na nauwi sa inuman.






this photo is taken in a place where I cannot be in again for the rest of my life. =)







if you find yourself in these pics, i am pretty sure, special ka din.
imagine, i have a fond memory with you. =)

Control. Argh.

I usually hate it when I lose control. I do not consider myself a control freak, but its because when I am into something, I usually do that something to the extent of what I can, want and like.
Last night, I slept super late from chatting and typing mom's affidavit. Do not get me wrong, I like typing affidavits and the like, of course, its the profession I chose to pursue. Minsan, nakakainis lang when in the middle of your fuzz in life, someone enters my room and instructs me a million things she should be doing.

Hindi naman sa galit. But I do not really take orders from anyone. The only order I can quite tolerate doing is my mom's and my bros which are not really orders but are lambings. I could not resist it, basta saken, ayoko ng hassle. As long as I want to be doing it, hindi siya hassle, but once you see me doing another thing, DONT, put your work on me. Trust me, I will be hating it.
I am not blaming anyone pero, asar lang, in the first place, the reason why I am typing this affidavits its because of you. And do not give me much of your errands. argh. I have my own.

NEXT thing, Have you ever done something that is a complete opposite of your principles?
I hate a lot of things; smoking, gambling, prostitution and ______. well, hulaan niyo na lang yang blank. For those who knows me, alam niyo yang blank na yan.
In relation to what I was talking about earlier, isa pa to. One of the things that placed a lot of pressure on my shoulders right now is this. The whole sense of this what-not that until now, I do not seem to understand. But I guess I am tied, sa buong buhay ko, there are only 2 things I have done na ayoko talaga; 1) this thing and 2) let go of my 7 years.

Ang hirap pala when you go out of your comfort zone. Hell, nowadays, I can never travel without a car, I must admit. Parang kulang ang buhay ko. It seems like I did not take my bag with me, or left my phone, or went out naked. Basta. Kulang.

Naiirita ako kasi i am slowly getting to go out and try new things. Pero sana I get used to this. Soon. Para naman maging tao na ko. hahhaa. At hindi na island, gaya ng sabi ni momi. haha. =D

The clock strikes 6.

Kadalasan, my blogs are written down on facebook. Why? More people read it there. Those who I havent spoken to for a long time gets to be updated through the use of my facebook. I am almost always online there, and that kahit hindi na ako makipagchat or text sa kanila, they get to know whats latest on me.

I choose now to post this here. One because wala naman halos nagbabasa nito, if there would be, only a few friends who gets updated because of their blogspot accounts, and those who I asked to read.

I choose to post this here, bakit? Its an overrated issue, which no matter how I want to get over it, TIME will heal.

Today is his niece's birthday. For awhile, rieley became one of my favorites. Yaya niya ako halos pag weekends. Taga patulog, paligo, padede, bantay etc. I miss her actually. At kahit sobrang gusto kong pumunta sa birthday ni rieley at invited naman ako, i choose not to, to avoid issues.
Somehow its true, when the pain starts to fade, you start to think about a million sort of things. Your life, and how it is different from before. Malaki siya actually, but hindi ko maideny sa sarili ko, na tanga pa din ako. and yes, the feeling does not go that easily.
Napapatanong pa din ako sa sarili ko, bakit? It seems that I do not get satisfied everytime I ask that, kasi hindi bakit ang sinasagot niya saken, kundi paano. Paano? He just fell out of love and thats it. I want to find out the reason why, I know this is the reason why until this very moment, hindi ko pa siya kayang harapin. I am too afraid I'll cry, I am too afraid I will miss him more. I am too afraid that I will start blaming myself again for my failed 7 year relationship.

7 freaking years. 7 years that seems so freakin hard to forget.

I went to Valero this afternoon to have a good study. I stood in front of 7-11 across OT bar, where he stood years ago under the rain waiting for me to go home with him. I did not, I was too engrossed with the fun times I had with my friends, that I forgot there was him caring for me too much that I have hurted him. Makasalanan ang Antel para saken, it is because this was the time I started shaking our relationship down. I was too selfish to think na may nagaantay, nagmamahal, nagmamalasakit.

Before I went home, I took a stop at a familiar street down in San Dionisio. I had no intentions of going down, gusto ko lang sumilip, I wanted to see even just a figure of him on the street. Wala, malinis ang el fili, walang tao sa labas ng mga bahay. Unlike during afternoons, where kids play at the middle of the narrow street, and some old folks sitting on benches, talking about every person who passes by infront of them.

Namimiss ko na din ang amoy. May nakasalubong pa akong amoy downy. Amoy niya un e. Kahit bulgari blue pag naamoy ko sa kapatid ko para akong nagfflash back. Pabango niya yun, sa loob loob ko lang.

Namiss ko rin yung dati. When pag may occassion I was obliged to come. Super obliged. Kahit namatay yata ang kuko ng kapitbahay niya ay kailangan kong pumunta. I remembered once I failed to go to his father's birthday. Matagal niyang dinamdam yun. Naging issue pa nga yun e. Gusto niya lagi akong present, lagi akong andun. Pag wala ako namimiss niya ako.

So on my way home, I started recalling the old times. When I hangout in his room doing nothing, but exchanging stories with him. Talking about issues, problems and the like. When he used to begged me to stay para makinood ng dvd sa kanila. When he used to ask me to go with him to a friend's birthday. When he used to kulit me to go home for out of the country kasi he missed me. Sayang, I did not save any of his messages. I deleted them all. Sana pala nagtira ako.

Alam ko one day, I will forget how it feels to be with him. Oo naman, nakakamiss lang. Sa totoo lang, natatakot din ako na wala na akong makikitang ganung chemistry with him. Mahirap kasi talaga maghanap ng ganun. One reason why inspite of and despite of, I choose to remain single. It is not because I compare him to all the other guys, it is just because I want to have the same chemistry. Yung kahit wala kaming ginagawa, nakatitig lang sa kawalan, pero alam mo na yung kahawak kamay mo, anjan parati para sayo. Yung katabi mo best friend mo, na kahit hibla ng buhok mo kilala ka. Nakatawa, sa tingin ko after 6 months of being away from him after 7 years, I still know what he smells like, his room looks like, how fat his cheeks are, his scar on his arm. Funny kasi kahit sa pics ni rieley kahit kamay lang, I can tell if its him, kahit legs lang nasasabi ko kung siya o hindi siya. Namimiss ko yung ganun, yung alam ko kung anong magiging reaction niya sa bawat bagay na makikita at maririnig niya.

Kaya nga pinili ko din na hindi magpakita sa birthday ni rieley, kasi alam ko na pagdating ko dun, wala din naman akong kausap, siyempre hindi naman kami magpapansinan.

I have lots of questions in my mind actually that I choose also to remain silent about it. Kung tapos na, tapos na. Bahala na si Lord. Let destiny takes it course. Ang alam ko lang, one reason why kahit ang daming nangyari hindi ko magawang magalit, its because my 7 years with him is one of the greatest, marami talaga akong natutunan. and hating him would make me hate myself. Kasi yung 7 years na yun, dun ako naging stronger person, natutong magmahal, naging mas open sa iba, naging generous, naging special. and yes, kahit anong mangyari in the future its one of the times I was loved and learned how to love. Talaga naman, kahit yata sa pagtanda ko, all those memories, and him, siguro will always have a special place in my heart.

amen. hehe. =P

Why sometimes I hate driving

This week was probably a terrible week for drivers, (especially those like me, terribly impatient) because of the loads of freakin traffic and numerous road holes almost freakin everywhere. Vero came in last week for the funeral of her grandpop and is bound for canada tomorrow, she have to meet lots of people in such a short time (extend extend!) I volunteered to drive her to ADMU to meet JP's friend who works in ADMU, going there did not take much long, hapon pa kasi, the bad thing was it rained hard in the North, and time was running out for me, we left ADMU at 5:30pm, and the bad news is I have to get to alabang at 7pm which unfortunately, at around 9pm that friday, I was in SShway calling all the saints, until I became really impatient, I started shouting and cursing much inside my car.

The next day, I almost had to take a boat to school as it was watery down in Manila. I left rather early because I knew I will be having this problem, true enough, it was hell watery. Good thing Manila, on a Saturday Morning is the sweetest, from Paranaque to Manila is barely 30 minutes.
Sunday was again a struggle, to get out of bed. It was super cold and I did not want to get up really, if I was not just thinking I have labor class with Atty. Diloy, I could have covered my face with a pillow and snooze some more.

I was thinking on these instances, if I was commuting, I could have done something to make my travel faster. Sometimes, I think I miss having to ride MRTs going places, besides I dont have to find a suitable parking, I will just stand there, hold on to a pole, and daydream about that hottie a few seats away from me. Or riding a jeep, where I can hear a couple beside me arguing where they'd be having dinner, and on cases wherein there is freaking heavy traffic, I can take an easier route, just like the MRT, where the travel from Taft to the North is barely an hour. Try mong magcar, it will take you 3 hours to Novaliches. Sa MRT, fast lang.

Lastly, tomorrow, Ihahatid ko si Vero sa airport, with gail and rosch. Back 2006, si rosch ang nagdrive kay vero to the airport, kaya hindi niya nahatid si momi vero sa mismong departure area kasi seconds lang dun e. Now, ako naman, so parang hindi ko mahahatid si momi vero until dun sa departure area. Punyeta, ipapark ko talaga, walang baba, magpapark ako. hahahha!

The weekend

Yes, it was a typical weekday. Driver ako ng momi ko. I went to my weekly beauty session. Mukha nanamang naagnas ang face ko because I am undergoing skin peeling, at as usual, updates with my friends. Sabi nga nila, i have been present much since December.

Well hopefully, you dont get tired of my presence.

So, I got an unexpected call to one of my friends, my mommy (marami akong mommy-friends) came in from Canada a few days ago. And yes, despite of my fresh from derma face and the A(H1N1) scare, i went right to where she is, unfortunately, in holy trinity.
Sabi nga ni rosch, it may be for the wrong reason, but I am more than glad that she is here. She never changed, i hugged her super tight since I havent seen her for years. I used to be with her everyday, kahit hanggang pag-uwi, I am one of the dakilang tambays sa bahay niya, and I have missed this familiar hug talaga. I am sure you know how it is, when one of your closest friends return from a semi-alienation mode, super super happy.

So, friday, dahil hindi ako nakapagaral ng thursday because of this news, I had to lock myself for awhile sa room ko, and hit the books. Though I was very jealous, that I did not get to chika with may and mia, who also came the day after the breaking news.

Saturday, I have to admit, I have been looking forward to see a movie all week, I went frustrated when I wasnt able to watch angels and demons with my favorite gay friend. Theo and I went to a little off road trip to Gateway, wherein which we were toured by one of my good friends, thanks to him, hindi naman kami nawala sa araneta center. And so, I went to meet my good friend for a movie, funny, it was like reminiscing our good ol glorietta-greenbelt days back 3 years ago. We did miss makati, mukha nga, since we stayed until the mall closed.

So, sa lahat ng araw ng weekend na to ay kasama ko si gail. (Gail, sawa na ko sau. ahhaha!) Kahit may ibang kasama, anjan pa din sha. (haha, ikaw na ang bagong EPAL, nde na si rosch haha)

Yesterday was again mommy's day. It was lucky for me to know na wala palang kaming telecoms as I was planning to attend mommy's grandpops internment. Fun nman, unlike the rest of the week na puro few hours lang kami ni gail magkasama, which is bitin, this time we spent the whole day together. It was more than okay, we know we were there for mommy, and ang saya pala nung feeling na ganun, na alam mo na, one of your friends, who feels really bad, but pag nakita ka niya, she'll put a smile on her face, and would always thank you for being there.

Kaya sha semi-awesome for me. It feels so good to make other people happy. Imagine, nung sat, I was with a friend whose dad just died a week ago, medjo kailangan niya ng good time, so andun ako, and mommy, who also lost a loved one, kailangan niya ng family, so I was also there, to be her family.

Wala lang. Ang saya to make other people smile by just being there. =)

And nga pla, katext ko ulit si its complicated kgbe, that made the weekend even better. =P

Wrong!

Yesterday, I received a message from a familiar name who i usually confide on back months ago. I sorta confide to him since he seems to be familiar with the scenario, and yes, literally he somehow knew both sides of the story. For long, I put most of the people on my list on permanent offline mode until I got a-ok again, and so I shifted again to my regular online stat and thus receiving this message.

S: Hello.

I stared long to this message. Yes it is all behind me now, but ow, his name makes me chill. Think edce, think. After I replied to a message I have been waiting for in my cellfone, and after few minutes of talking to Theo on the phone, I finally decided to reply.

E: hello din.
B: Kamusta na?
E: Ok naman. I was speaking kasi to a friend over the phone.
B: Naks, lovelife.

Eto na. Back months ago, this is the question he always asks me that I try to shove off.

B: May boyfriend ka na?

Bingo. Ayoko ng question na to e. Its not that I dont want to talk about it, its more of I dont want to tackle much of it with him.

E: Malapit na.

Hello. Kahit hindi pa talaga since I dont want him asking anymore questions on why, where, when or how, i rather answer this with a white lie.

B: Anong number mong bago?

Patay. I wasnt able to anticipate this. Again, back months ago, I decided not to send to some people my new number. Iwas gulo. Tahimik ang buhay. And he was one of them. But then, sige na nga, just in case I'll need him in the future.

E: 09151863515

Lech.
Anyway, so he still texted me last night, which I never did reply. Sana makaramdam naman sha no. Dati pa to e. Way before pa. He knows naman, but being makulit as he is, I hope ngayon mafeel niya na hindi ko sha feel kausap. Sorry. hehe. Scary.

Its complicated

My weekend was a blast, o yes. But this weekend bore some complications as well, that kept me thinking.. too much.

First, I received a forwarded message from someone who I sorta had a crush on. I must admit, of course, may kilig factor. And hindi pa dun nagstop. I received another forwarded message, this time it was a joke, which is actually a pick-up line that boys use to flirt with girls. On the second message, I replied.
"Kamusta?"
Thus, he instantly replied.
"Ok naman. Ikaw?"

After a few messages, he asked if he can go to bed because he drank some meds that can make him drowsy. And then, the next day, I received another forwarded message, and this time, I let it pass.

Wondering why I let this pass?

Its complicated. Really. Really.
Promise, this would be much complicated than the last one.
Basta. Hahaha. =P